i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

ahnaf abrar

i love it here

autonomy of learning

not their contents

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

or never left

fw

i have read not even 1 book

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

was it worth it

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

its performative

no i haven't really read anything

yeah

its good

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

yeah

we need to be deconstructing our identities

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

like magnets

you cannot feed someone truth

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Better Lift

send your tumblr

its good short few pages

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

no longer writing in the third person

lol

propensity within someone

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

not so on: yvf(wthw)