Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."
but i respect your search
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
currently
as in
propensity within someone
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike
much more tactility
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
magnetisation/form
its performative
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
bro i read nothing in my life
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls
no like which do people call me
we need to be deconstructing our identities
yes