the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

in a post. I want to be remembered

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I am below everything.

13, H, grate

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

no longer writing in the third person 

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
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                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

1

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

is this you as well

like magnets

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

magnetises a pin

ahnaf abrar