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the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

not their contents

but i respect your search

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

no longer writing in the third person

you cannot feed someone truth

Better Lift

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

as in

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

propensity within someone


Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I am below everything.

Lift Analysis

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

brb i will read and reply sincerely

It Will Get Lighter

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt


Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.