something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

It Will Get Lighter

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Rain, starting



"Put a blanket."

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful


that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

brb i will read and reply sincerely

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I am below everything.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

you cannot feed someone truth

its good

its performative