something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Worse Lift

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree. 

        13       |
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Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

It Will Get Lighter

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

no longer writing in the third person

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

1

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

hiding from the rain

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

we can only engage in such a way

i have read not even 1 book

what do you mean

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

bro i read nothing in my life

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

i love it here

i really havent

its good

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books