feel you

its performative

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

it is hopeful

1

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Picture

i have read not even 1 book

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.