i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i
didn’t watch it then
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully
and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book
and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i
probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable
in a way that was engaging to me
part of an old note. It will get lighter.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking
a cigarette while we watch
the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion,
and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be
processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your
subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks
for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more
personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more
romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
13, H, grate
