yeah

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

autonomy of learning

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

as in

you cannot feed someone truth

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

we can only engage in such a way

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

it is hopeful

all that is to say

division of reality is straying away from it

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Worse Lift

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Style

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

I am below everything.

It Will Get Lighter

"Put a blanket."