think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

no longer writing in the third person

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Can I see

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

It Will Get Lighter

Picture

Better Lift

1

Worse Lift

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.