Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

i have read not even 1 book

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

December 2025

or never left

...

abrar?

what do you mean

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

lol yea

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

like first name

barren land

ahnaf abrar

what do you think my name is

that looks like my instagram account

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

much more tactility

Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.

"Put a blanket."

A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.

...

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Better Lift

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50


something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

13, H, grate

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books