it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

yeah

i was tempted to lie about my name

fw

barren land

isaac

isaac newton

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

we need to be deconstructing our identities

like first name

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

yeah

we can only engage in such a way

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

as in

so at the end

autonomy of learning

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

which magnetises chains of pins

feel you

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you