much more tactility

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

it is hopeful

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

really i want the internet

no longer writing in the third person

but i respect your search

Today I felt like starting

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

but really the thing should be autonomous

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

yeah

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things