Can I see

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Worse Lift

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

so at the end

magnetisation/form

but really the thing should be autonomous


Better Lift

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i see a website

no longer writing in the third person

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

you cannot feed someone truth

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.