Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Rain, starting

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

13, H, grate

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

division of reality is straying away from it

but i respect your search

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Thank you, Jack

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

yes

Can I see

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

part of an old note. It will get lighter.