I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

no longer writing in the third person

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Lift Analysis

kind of mythopoesis

we can only engage in such a way

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

i see a website

in a post. I want to be remembered

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

much more tactility

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

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it is hopeful