feel you

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

hiding from the rain

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

13, H, grate

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

autonomy of learning

all that is to say

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

so an active mazelike process

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

its performative

Lift Analysis

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet