One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
but i respect your search
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
kind of mythopoesis
wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me
Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.