i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

so at the end

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

not their contents

its performative

It Will Get Lighter

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

propensity within someone

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

you cannot feed someone truth

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Style

all that is to say

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

brb i will read and reply sincerely


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

no longer writing in the third person

as in

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

idk