I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

It Will Get Lighter

Lift Analysis

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Better Lift

yes

Can I see

Thank you, Jack

autonomy of learning

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

so the method has to be autonomous