Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
I am below everything.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Thank you, Jack
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
Can I see
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
no longer writing in the third person
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.