After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

its performative

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

idk

that looks like my instagram account

i love it here

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

yeah

i was tempted to lie about my name

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

i dont understand magnetisation

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

its good

sorry i am texting like a slav

and the fake qualifier

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

like first name

so an active mazelike process

and the fake qualifier

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."