i really havent

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

hiding from the rain

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

no longer writing in the third person

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

it is hopeful

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

division of reality is straying away from it

you cannot feed someone truth

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them