think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
currently
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
in a post. I want to be remembered
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
i understand
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
its good
its good short few pages
no longer writing in the third person
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
its performative
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.