I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Rain, starting

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

which magnetises chains of pins

isaac

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

abrar?

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

is this you as well

lol

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

ahnaf abrar

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

division of reality is straying away from it

autonomy of learning