with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Better Lift

But seriously, thank you, Jack, for telling me that I could submit this to a high-level literary magazine or creative nonfiction outlet with some minor tweaks. I don't think I will do that.

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

so at the end

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."