propensity within someone

Rain, starting

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.



Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

I am below everything.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

currently

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

1


Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

no longer writing in the third person

It Will Get Lighter

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life