but really the thing should be autonomous

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me. The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

It Will Get Lighter

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Rain, starting

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17



ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

It Will Get Lighter

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i was tempted to lie about my name

IWGD

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

Better Lift


ahnaf abrar

i want to do that too

the site i am dreaming


not their contents

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

in a post. I want to be remembered

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

Worse Lift

is this you as well

which magnetises chains of pins

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

its good

like first name