something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing,
revealing,
etc.
no longer writing in the third person
Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
Lift Analysis
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and
impulsively.
how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the
excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
you know who you are. no more time, not like
1. way too specific.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
FOUNDING DOCUMENT
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty
cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
