it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

the site i am dreaming

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

and the fake qualifier

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

was it worth it

December 2025

as in

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

division of reality is straying away from it


Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

much more tactility

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.