the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Rain, starting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

its good

you cannot feed someone truth

division of reality is straying away from it

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

so an active mazelike process

i see a website

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

i have read not even 1 book

so at the end

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

...

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

I am below everything.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

part of an old note. It will get lighter.
"Put a blanket."

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

i really havent

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

December 2025