I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
no longer writing in the third person
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
currently
autonomy of learning
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
as in
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
is this you as well
magnetises a pin
no like which do people call me