i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me


Rain, starting

"Put a blanket."

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

I am below everything.

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me. The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

in a post. I want to be remembered

Style

it is hopeful

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

It Will Get Lighter

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

It Will Get Lighter

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

so an active mazelike process

magnetisation/form

isaac

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

we need to be deconstructing our identities