It Will Get Lighter

December 2025

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I Write Goodbye Letter

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a breakdown of common interpretations:

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

...

magnetisation/form

i was tempted to lie about my name

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

no i haven't really read anything

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

abrar?

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

i really havent

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13