We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

bro i read nothing in my life

i really havent

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

bro i read nothing in my life

It Will Get Lighter

ahnaf abrar

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

send link

i really havent

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

the site i am dreaming

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

wait what is that

it is hopeful

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

1

was it worth it

As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.

sorry i am texting like a slav

abrar?

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me