i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

really i want the internet

no longer writing in the third person

kind of mythopoesis

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

in a post. I want to be remembered

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Rain, starting

Better Lift

Lift Analysis

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

yes

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i see a website

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Worse Lift