think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

like magnets

i was tempted to lie about my name

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

It Will Get Lighter

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

plato

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

ion

no longer writing in the third person

abrar?

no like which do people call me

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

magnetisation/form

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."