I am below everything.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
no longer writing in the third person
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
hiding from the rain
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
it is hopeful
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
"Put a blanket."
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
send link
He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.
kind of mythopoesis
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.