it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

division of reality is straying away from it

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Rain, starting

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

something religious, a kind of complex, it will get lighter, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

as in

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

idk

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

brb i will read and reply sincerely

lol

magnetisation/form

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

13, H, grate

was it worth it

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

you have a beautiful account btw