I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox."I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Today I felt like starting
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out."Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
no longer writing in the third person
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
currently
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
hiding from the rain