currently

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

It Will Get Lighter

no i haven't really read anything

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Rain, starting

propensity within someone

yes

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

wait what is that


its good

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Slug

December 2025

After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.


I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse