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I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
you cannot feed someone truth
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
division of reality is straying away from it
no longer writing in the third person
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying
autonomy of learning
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
Lift Analysis
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50