I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
no longer writing in the third person
currently
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
it is hopeful
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.hiding from the rain
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
."Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.brb i will read and reply sincerely