I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.


so the method has to be autonomous

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Rain, starting

ahnaf abrar

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

abrar?

i want to do that too

feel you

that looks like my instagram account

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

no i haven't really read anything

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

I am below everything.

plato

have you read

hiding from the rain

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

bro i read nothing in my life

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class