way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

send link

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

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Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

the site i am dreaming

yes

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

kind of mythopoesis

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

all that is to say

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Rain, starting

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

but i respect your search

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

in a post. I want to be remembered