with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
but really the thing should be autonomous
After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
I am below everything.
in a post. I want to be remembered
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
so at the end
its performative
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
you have a beautiful account btw
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
no i haven't really read anything