Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

no longer writing in the third person

        13       |
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            H   |
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13, H, grate

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

Can I see

in a post. I want to be remembered

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

1

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Today I felt like starting

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

really i want the internet

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

It Will Get Lighter

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

but i respect your search