Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason
abrar?