Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

no longer writing in the third person

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

1

Today I felt like starting

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

division of reality is straying away from it

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

...

He was cast as the guy who gets picked up and thrown out of the poker game to set the scene before the main characters arrive. Out of Real London and into real London, a discarded prop, at this party, chatting to me.

2 (actually index). two is company

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

hiding from the rain

much more tactility

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

magnetisation/form

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting


I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49