...

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

i have read not even 1 book

have you read

no i haven't really read anything

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

its good short few pages

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

much more tactility

god being the centre magnet

idk

its performative

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

not their contents

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

i dont understand magnetisation

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

as in
  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

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